Suggestions for a Boring Day off

I had no plans when the Boy woke me up this morning. Just a relaxing day at home. After a while we decided to go check out the Mom's group in town. I'm not off on Thursdays as a rule and hadn't been able to attend at all this year.

As we were getting ready I had to run upstairs for something. "Mom, I had an accident" echoed up the stairs. What was that about? He never has accidents with #1 anymore. Off to the naughty chair, for he knows better. In fact, he took himself while I washed the floor and threw in a load of laundry. Just before leaving the house I called the Dog in. He didn't come. I tried that for 10 min with no luck. Tough luck for him, I figured. It's nice out and he can just hang out till I get home. A few minutes away from home I spotted him. And he spotted me. He started to race the car home so I followed and threw him in the house. Departure, take two.

After group we went to a neighboring town. Decided to try Chiropractic. Hey, maybe it'll help the Boy sleep better. You never know! I'll confess, the crackers scare me though. We went to see a clicker. The Boy did great. Maybe he even enjoyed it.

We grabbed some lunch at Chicken Chef, a rare treat. I figured he would fall asleep on the way home. But I should have known better. Upon walking in the house I noticed that nice fresh laundry smell. Perhaps a little too nice. And then I noticed the Blue puddle on the floor. And the Tide bottle tipped on it's side.

So I:

- did approximately 703 loads of laundry
- took the blue stained carpet outside and washed it with the hose
- and the other that I had repeatedly asked Husband to clean
- and one more for the heck of it
- washed the walls in the laundry room and entrance
- washed the entrance floor

I was planning to work out today but I think perhaps I already have.

The Boy was so busy helping the he forgot to have a nap. When I realized how late it was I decided to try a new approach. Set him up with his blanket and Mighty Machines while I had a bath. This plan failed as evidenced by the THUDS I've heard while upstairs. He says he was making a building for me. I don't know what that means at this point and am gladly procrastinating finding out as I'm sure it entails further cleaning.

Oh, and the Husband will be on his way home from work soon. I'd better get on supper!

Thank God for days "off"...

Celebrating a Decade

I suppose it's not entirely abnormal to feel lost and confused in early adulthood. I like to do things to the extreme and so that was how I straddled that space between teen and adult. It was a head spinning, dizzying sort of time. I didn't know who I was and who I wanted to be. I couldn't balance work and school and self discovery. So I took a break. Or I broke. I suppose it depends on your perspective.

It's not a place I like to visit. Sometimes when I remember it still fills me with fears. In fact, I can't even recognize the woman I am today when I think of the scared young adult I was. They say the best way to get rid of the stigma of mental illness is to share your story. Sometimes I want to, but often I don't. Occasionally I'm afraid of what others might think. But stronger than that is the sense of my own frailty which still scares me. Who was I during those years when I danced on the brink? There are lots of bad memories, a few good, and most of them hazy. I'm not ashamed of that time in my life and I'd talk to you about it over coffee. But it does still take a toll on my emotions.

9 years ago yesterday I got serious about changing that. I boarded a plane on Halloween and flew to Ontario. Then I got on a taxi that drove me to a wonderful, albeit scary (the unknown, that is) place. Three and a half months of intense learning and reformatting. Constant encouragement and one amazing friendship gave me the leg up I had been needing. I came home and my strength deepened. My faith returned in a stronger and different form, for it had largely disappeared during that time.

Fast forward till now. Married to a wonderful, understanding and supportive man. Mom of the best little boy ever. It turns out that I love being a Mom! Enjoying my career as the nurse I thought I might never be. Although I worked hard to pull myself back up I can't take credit. Perhaps God had mercy on me. Perhaps I got lucky. Most likely it's a combination of all of the above.

It's not that my life now is without hardship or that I've "arrived". I dip into depression from time to time. I struggle with various thoughts and behaviors. Memories from my past invade my dreams and drive me to anxiety. Sometimes. But now I know my triggers. I'm way more comfortable with who I am. My coping skills are much improved.

Sometimes I wish I knew how to use my life and my story to help other people. That's something I'm still figuring out. But for now I'm living my life, thankful to be where and who I am. Not ever taking it for granted. Realizing that the garbage in my past actually formed me to be better. And stronger.

Still realizing my fragility.

Broken

Thump. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

I look at the time. It's 2 AM.

"Mommy. I'm broken."

"What? Where are you broken"

"In my bum Mommy"

I take him back to his room. Snuggle with him. Sniff. Oh dear, smells like some business was done. This is a function he can control. If it happened without him meaning to, well then of course it must be broken.

Clean up time. More snuggles. More sleep.

Rattling

I have a post rattling about my brain. The more I ruminate on these thoughts in my mind, the more complicated they become. I need time to sit and get it down on paper or puter in some kind of logical and carefully worded order. It's coming. Perhaps in sections.

Fall Goals

I see, since my absence, that I've lost all of my followers. Time to re-vamp my blog!

In a few days it will be officially be autumn. I spent my summer working a lot. It's going to change now. We've accomplished most of our immediate financial goals and it's time to slow down and enjoy life. Time to make time for regular workouts and healthy meals. Time for massages and trips to the city just for coffee. Time to sleep and take naps. And time to experiment with cooking and bone up on the cleaning.

This fall is going to be a great new start! It's September after all. Isn't that when most things start up again?

Fall on the Farm

The summer has passed in the blink of an eye. I took a break from blogging and the gym and spent time with the family and at work. We accomplished Potty Training (most of the time) and got the landscaping done. We spent many hours playing at Nana's farm and playing in the water with friends. We explored Tinkertown and a local town fair. We spent lots of time with old friends and forged new friendships.



Today the Boy, Nana, and myself went to the Mennonite Museum for Fall on the Farm. First stop was the Candy Store to sustain us on our journey. We watched the blacksmith heat and pound some metal. We climbed the windmill and watched them grind some wheat. The steam tractors were out and a kind Engineer invited the Boy up to see the fire and turn the steering wheel. We petted rabbits, goats, and donkeys. The Barrel Train was lots of fun! All this plus chicken butchering and fresh pickles!





Exploring all of these things with a toddler makes it all new and fun again. I just love re-discovering life with him!

Birthday Celebrations

I am so lucky to have both of my parents around. Last month both of them celebrated their birthdays. By being smart enough to carry the camera I got lots of awesome pictures without me being featured in any of them.

Check it out!

My sister was home for Mum's birthday. We invited her sister along as well. First we went for delicious Italian food. Too many choices on the menu!


But oh, so yummy!






This Gooseberry light on fire right after I took the picture. What better way to kick off 55 than with a fire?!


Then we went to my sister's condo for a rousing game of Scrabble. We let Mum win. Followed by Carol, and Jen. I brought up the tail end.



It was an awesome evening!

We celebrated Dad's 57th on June 26th at the neighborhood coffee shop - the Back Porch. My Grandparents came too. We dined on fruit, cheese, and baked goodies. The coffee was hot and strong. Bacon, sausages and eggs followed.

The Birthday Boy!


If there is a party, my Grandparents are sure to crash it!


The Boy "smiling" for the camera

(I love the facial expressions in this photo)

The whole crew. Grandma is in this photo somewhere....