Long awaited and highly anticipated! More work than we expected but definitely worth it.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Faith
Just finished reading Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom and loved it. Easy to read with wonderful insights that encourage acceptance of others.
My favorite paragraph is as follows:
But I realized something as I drove home that night: that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier. And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart. (p221)
I had a mentor like Mitch had in his life. I remember her. That gentle, accepting spirit taught me so much.
My favorite paragraph is as follows:
But I realized something as I drove home that night: that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier. And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart. (p221)
I had a mentor like Mitch had in his life. I remember her. That gentle, accepting spirit taught me so much.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Perspective
Sometimes I look around me and don't like what I see.
I guess it's the stage of life I'm in. People want to build families. It seems that almost everyone I know with kids the age of my Boy's have another one. Or two. Plus another on the way. My eyes seek out those with arms full or bellies expectant. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy for my friends who are excited about new lives. But I can't help but feel a mix of jealousy and sadness for myself and our family dreams.
Especially when...
I hear of one "unplanned". A marriage that seems headed for disaster. Sad relationships. Personal instability. Risky lifestyles. People who took steps to have "permanent" birth control in place and somehow things just happened. People who don't know what it's like to have to try.
That's when I have to remind myself. There are babies that are sick, like my darling niece. There are mamas that are dying even while their bodies are growing their babies, knowing their child will face life without a mum. Most of the couples who sit in the Fertility Clinic waiting room with us probably don't even have one.
We do. We have a healthy, vibrant little boy. He rocks our worlds. Our marriage is secure. We are generally happy. We just don't get everything we want, when we want it.
Seriously. We are so lucky! I just want to be luckier.... but when I put it in perspective it's easier. I believe we will. It's just a matter of time. A lot of time.
I guess it's the stage of life I'm in. People want to build families. It seems that almost everyone I know with kids the age of my Boy's have another one. Or two. Plus another on the way. My eyes seek out those with arms full or bellies expectant. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy for my friends who are excited about new lives. But I can't help but feel a mix of jealousy and sadness for myself and our family dreams.
Especially when...
I hear of one "unplanned". A marriage that seems headed for disaster. Sad relationships. Personal instability. Risky lifestyles. People who took steps to have "permanent" birth control in place and somehow things just happened. People who don't know what it's like to have to try.
That's when I have to remind myself. There are babies that are sick, like my darling niece. There are mamas that are dying even while their bodies are growing their babies, knowing their child will face life without a mum. Most of the couples who sit in the Fertility Clinic waiting room with us probably don't even have one.
We do. We have a healthy, vibrant little boy. He rocks our worlds. Our marriage is secure. We are generally happy. We just don't get everything we want, when we want it.
Seriously. We are so lucky! I just want to be luckier.... but when I put it in perspective it's easier. I believe we will. It's just a matter of time. A lot of time.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Surgery
Yesterday was a big day for me. I had surgery to remove a septum in my uterus and cauterize some endometriosis. Everything went well and I was home around 8 pm. This morning I feel like I was kicked in the gut by a horse. Yuck! Fortunately, Nana has the Boy and I have the Husband and painkillers. This afternoon is my follow-up appointment. So glad to get this over with!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Three
It may be Friday, the thirteenth, but as far as I'm concerned it's the 13th of May. My Boy's birthday! There is no better day than this.
A year ago he was still my baby. Still enjoying his bottle, wearing diapers, and sleeping in a crib. Feels like forever ago. I can't even imagine where he'll be one year from now.
As usual, he has a birthday bug. Fever, cold symptoms. He's stronger than he used to be though and it's relatively minor. Daddy and I took the day off to celebrate. The weather is terrible and so far it's been a movie and jammie day. After his nap we'll give him his gift. This evening family is coming for cake and coffee.
Tomorrow is hotel night! His best friend and family will be joining us for one night at a hotel with a play structure and pool. Really looking forward to that!
Party on!
A year ago he was still my baby. Still enjoying his bottle, wearing diapers, and sleeping in a crib. Feels like forever ago. I can't even imagine where he'll be one year from now.
As usual, he has a birthday bug. Fever, cold symptoms. He's stronger than he used to be though and it's relatively minor. Daddy and I took the day off to celebrate. The weather is terrible and so far it's been a movie and jammie day. After his nap we'll give him his gift. This evening family is coming for cake and coffee.
Tomorrow is hotel night! His best friend and family will be joining us for one night at a hotel with a play structure and pool. Really looking forward to that!
Party on!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Accidents
The thing about accidents is that the timing must be impeccable. It takes more precision than any fine-tuned art.
Because...
If you had been one second later
Or one second earlier
Stayed at the last place a minute longer
Or the weather had been different
If it had been a different time of day
Or someone else behind the wheel
If you'd been driving a car instead of a truck
Or if his vehicle had winter tires
If you had declined a shift
Or the other guy decided not to go watch the game
If any single, minute detail was different...
It wouldn't have happened.
But it did. Everything lined up just so. You can assign fault to somebody. Or nobody. God. Or Fate. Maybe Chance.
When the Unthinkable happens... then what? When you run to the car, hoping beyond hope that the other guy is okay. And you see him, and you know he's not. What then?
As it turns out, some people understand. It's happened to people before. They just don't talk about it every day. Some call. Some send flowers. No one casts blame. It must feel like a treadmill. A lot of effort, no destination. What if? Should I have? Could I have? The family... ?
I love you, Dad.
Because...
If you had been one second later
Or one second earlier
Stayed at the last place a minute longer
Or the weather had been different
If it had been a different time of day
Or someone else behind the wheel
If you'd been driving a car instead of a truck
Or if his vehicle had winter tires
If you had declined a shift
Or the other guy decided not to go watch the game
If any single, minute detail was different...
It wouldn't have happened.
But it did. Everything lined up just so. You can assign fault to somebody. Or nobody. God. Or Fate. Maybe Chance.
When the Unthinkable happens... then what? When you run to the car, hoping beyond hope that the other guy is okay. And you see him, and you know he's not. What then?
As it turns out, some people understand. It's happened to people before. They just don't talk about it every day. Some call. Some send flowers. No one casts blame. It must feel like a treadmill. A lot of effort, no destination. What if? Should I have? Could I have? The family... ?
I love you, Dad.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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