Rachel Amariah

For details visit www.rachelamariah.blogspot.com

Bittersweet

I'm almost ready to head out of the house. The Boy and I are taking our first road trip together. Nana and Papa are coming to. Our destination is Calgary. My brother lives there. With his beautiful wife and family. Literally, as soon as the Boy awakes from his Slumber we are outta here!

You may think we're heading on a vacation. The truth is that my niece is going to be born. Tomorrow. Her name is Rachel Amariah. At the routine 20 week ultrasound they discovered that things weren't quite right. Now, through extensive and detailed testing, we expect that she won't live long. Nobody knows how long or how short her life may be.

I've witnessed amazing strength as my family deals with this news. Her parents have wrapped her in love from the beginning. There are no rosy thoughts of miracles, etc. They are facing reality. Decisions have been made and plans are in place so that when Rachel comes they can just focus on her. Such anguish. Such love. Yet such peace.

It's bittersweet. Rachel has already taught us so much. We will love to to bits now and forever after. I was thinking today, God, why the bittersweet? Why not JUST bitter or JUST sweet. It feels like torture to love something/someone only to lose them.

But I realized something. If there was just bitter or sweet, the bitter would overwhelm the sweet. I'm afraid I would just see the ugliness. So we have to have the sweet with the bitter. Otherwise we'd have a world full of jaded or incredibly happy, sheltered (and this might be worse than jaded) people. It just keeps things in focus.

See you tomorrow, Rachel.

Balance

I have to admit that I sometimes feel like the odd Mama out, here in this town. This town which is slowly becoming "my" town again.

You see, I love my job. I find meaning and purpose in caring for people outside of my own family. My heart is caring. I like my patients and, usually, they like me. I work with a fabulous team. I get lots of positive feedback about my performance and enjoy being part of a team.

Most of the Mums here take great pride in staying home with their children. I'm not sure that I have met any that work outside of the home. I certainly believe there is no more important job than raising your own children. Sometimes I wish that would be all I want. To stay home and watch my Boy grow up.

But I don't. I want to work part time. Not full time, just part. The thing is, I'm happier when I get out of the house. I have more patience and more fun with my family. There is a fine line. At times I have picked up too many shifts and run myself near ragged. Then I become the Mama Monster and that isn't cool for anyone.

It's interesting to move back to my old hometown. I can't say that moving back has felt like coming home. It's starting to feel more comfortable. But sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in all that well. It's getting better with time and I assume it will continue to. I'm just gonna continue doing what makes me happy.

Spring Break and Photos

I've been working a lot lately. However, I took last week off just to be with the Boy. Fun was on the agenda. We went to Brandon and enjoyed the Royal Manitoba Winter Fair. We saw horse shows, the Superdogs, and the Kubota tractor that leveled the sand after every performance. The latter was the most exciting part for Isaiah.

The puddles on the driveway have dried up now, but they sure were fun!

Lots of silly time

And a brand new, shiny raincoat!

I managed to spend lots of time with friends and consume large amounts of coffee. The windows got cleaned, inside and out, with the help of the Husband. The fish filters were pulled out and cleaned. I finally caught up with laundry. It has, for the record, gotten away from me again.

I loved just chillin' with my Boy. He's growing up and it makes me happy and sad all at once. The daycare he is at now is awesome and I can see the influence of the older Boys on his language and play. He no longer giggles for a positive response to my questions. This week it turned to "yeah". And just like that my Baby disappeared! He talks full sentences most of the time and is a pretty happy kid. We're only up about once a night now. Eventually he will sleep through the night! Of that I am sure.

What a great week!

The Blog Life

Of COURSE I'll keep it up. My brother and sister read it ! And if nobody else does, it would still be worth it. They don't "do" Facebook.

Confession

I don't blog much anymore. I have more followers on Facebook and not that much to say. The question is, should I keep it up?

Tales from the Tub

Here is what I learned today while soaking in the tub and reading "Today's Parent"

- it's recommended to medicate your child before taking them to the ER. Apparently medical professionals don't need living proof of a fever.

- kids will remember the time you take to play with them, not how clean your floors are

- if you save $50 every 2 weeks for 50 years you will have $35,600 assuming you earn 3% annual interest

- kids in home-based daycares watch 2 more hours of TV daily than kids in structured daycares. 2.4 hours vs 0.4 hrs a day! Trying to minimize screen time for the Boy, who eats, lives, breathes, and dreams Mighty Machines is one of my current battles.

- Poop tested from colicky babies showed double the inflammation as compared to non-colicky babies, similar to adults with Irritable Bowel Syndrome! I say bring on the Acidophillus.

- there is such a thing as a "sleep doula"

- lots of kids don't sleep through the night. different techniques work for different parents and different kids.

- some people think sleep patterns are partly personality. some people have also come to the conclusion that infant and toddlerhood are fleeting and that instead of spending time feeling guilty and resentful about night wakings a conscious decision to enjoy that time with your child makes all the difference in the world. "I spent moths agonizing over how to help my child learn to sleep when I could have been enjoying the hours of cuddling," one Mama says.

- most girls 11-13 want more involvement from their Daddy

- only half of all boys are potty trained by age 3

So there you have it. It's an educational experience.