Today, in my never ending quest to figure out what's going on inside of me, I and a nursing colleague (and friend) checked my belly with a doppler. For the first time I found two distinct heartbeats - one on either side of my uterus. One was ticking at 145, the other at 160. I could hear them both moving too - cool!
I've gotta say, I have strong mixed feelings. On one hand I hope Baby B can go sooner than later if it's inevitable. On the other hand I love them both and I love that there are two growing inside of me. It's kind of like I have to allow myself to enjoy the awe-inspiring parts of this journey. My belly is growing like crazy, my appetite is incredible, and I'm feeling movement.
Two days til the fetal assessment and NT test. Here's hoping we learn a little more about each of these precious lives. I'm feeling well physically and generally labile emotionally. For the most part I haven't lost my optimism and cope quite well if I focus on the here and now and put worry about the future in it's place.
3 comments:
Two little prayers for your two little heartbeats.
How tricky it is - do we let our hearts hope for healing (because it does happen sometimes in the most unexpected way) or do we prepare our hearts for the worst or...? And so, like mmichele, I find myself praying. Hugs.
Thinking of you today sis. Love, jen
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