This morning started with another significant bleed. I decided to go to work, knowing that staying home with myself is the worst when I'm stressed. Should things get progressively worse I would present to Emergency. I work with a great group who is behind me all the time and are constantly lifting me up. I am blessed that way.
The day did get better. I was even able to sneak into the Obstetrics area and hear a reassuring heartbeat.
At 230 my phone rang. It was the specialist who had looked at our ultrasound report. Basically, he said, Baby B is swollen with extra fluid and has excess fluid around him (him = gender neutral). The baby is in heart failure and has a 98% chance of "self termination" before coming to term. We can't tell from the ultrasound (due to the hemorrhage) if the babies share a placenta or if they each have their own. If they each have their own and I miscarry Baby B earlier rather than later, Baby A has a fighting chance. The earlier Hydrops is diagnosed, the worse the prognosis. I have been unable to find a case earlier than mine - 10 weeks.
We will go ahead with a Nuchal Translucency scan next Friday. It won't fix anything but may indicate the presence of Down's Syndrome, major cardiac defects, etc. We might learn something.
My hope and prayer is that if Baby B can't hang on, that he go sooner than later and give Baby A a shot at a healthy start. This first trimester has been a roller coaster.
2 comments:
It has been a tough go for sure. Lots of stress, which you have been handling very well, I must say. The not-knowing is the hardest, once you know what you have to deal with, you can come to terms with it. Hopefully things will resolve soon, one way or another. Love MOM
Oh... I don't know what to say but I do know what I'll do. I'll pray. I can't think of anything else I'd rather do.
Are you finding you can lean on your hubby? I always tended to guard my emotions for the first trimester - after all I did lose two. After our second miscarriage Korey wished I had shared more of the pain and joys of those first three months with him - and had included him more in the name-choice, etc.
Oh...so very sorry that you and your family need to ride this roller coaster. I will be praying for peace;
for a sense of strong community surrounding you;
for lots of grace/mercy/understanding to flow from yourself to yourself;
for God's mothering nurture of you, your two babes in utero and of your two loves already sharing your house;
for God's healing hand...
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