Moving Ahead

I still think of my babies every day.  Sometimes it's a memory of them moving inside of me.  Sometimes it's the tattoo that looks back at me in the mirror.  And sometimes its a loving gesture or comment from a friend that reminds me that they care.

We returned to the fertility clinic a few weeks ago where they determined I should have further testing.  The time frame for the test I needed is one to three months.  I got in the first month.  Although it was much more painful than I expected or remembered from last time I had it done, the results were super!  No further surgery required and the green light to go ahead and give it another go!

Now I just have to put in some time before things are in order to move forward.  Our hopes are high!

2 Months

It has been two months since I went on the roller coaster ride that led to the early delivery of my twins.  Two months since I held them for the first and only time.

I've gotta say, I think I'm doing well.  I feel generally happy and optimistic.  I still think of the babies often and got a pretty tattoo on my right shoulder to be a constant, permanent reminder for me.

We went back to the fertility clinic to talk about trying again.  I won't lie - I'm eager to try again!  I was hoping we would get the green light right away but it turns out we need to do some further testing and perhaps undergo another surgery before forging ahead.  I was disappointed initially but at the same time I understand the approach from a medical standpoint.  I can't help but hope it happens on our own before we move ahead at the clinic.  What a gift that would be!  That being said, I don't think that "trying" is a great mindset for us yet and so we are just carrying on as usual and whatever happens, happens.