Monday, October 27, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Doctor's Orders

1. Eat more. And then repeat

2. Sleep more. Take a daily nap. This is not optional. It's a necessity.

3. Lower your standards. Let the house be messier. Accomplish less. Learn to relax. Journal sometimes.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I suppose it serves me right for bragging. My boy used to sleep 8, 9, 10 hours straight through the night. Enter, serious teething. The kid is up every two to three hours - like a newborn! We're exhausted. Good thing I got a good, long rest before this.

These are the greatest toys ever!

Friday, October 17, 2008


It's funny. Not in a ha-ha way. But in a "I didn't think it would affect me like this" sort of way. When I took Isaiah to see his doctor on Tuesday, she asked me "Did you hear about Dr Hellawa?" It turns out that he had a massive cardiac arrest a week ago and has not regained consciousness. A fit, healthy 50-something year old with no pre-existing conditions. He spends more than 50% of his life in a hospital setting, yet this happened outside of the hospital setting.

He has been on my mind non-stop. And I suddenly realize that I regard him as a hero. He gave us top-notch pre-natal care, was at my side while I labored, and ensured a safe delivery of my only child. No wonder I hold him in such high esteem. Last time he saw me he said I could come back "next time" and he would be happy to navigate my next pregnancy and delivery with me.

But now he stands at the threshold of life and death. And all I can do is pray.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Five Months

Mummy FINALLY figures out how HUNGRY I am!

A rare cuddle from the Anti-Cuddler

Monday, October 13, 2008

50 Things I'm Thankful For

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are 50 things I'm thankful for.

1 - Being able to say "This is my family - My husband, and my Son."

2 - My parents and siblings.

3 - The In-laws

4 - The fact that my family loves to gather in the spirit of celebration. We really like each other!

5 - Faith

6 - Telephones

7 - Stable careers and reliable incomes

8 - Junk food. Sweet and salty alike

9 - Air Travel. Come home safely Mum and Dad.

10 - Autumn and the amazing colors that leaves turn

11 - The gym

12 - A good mattress

13 - My heating pad

14 - Tweezers

15 - And nail files

16 - Coffee. Shared with good company.

17 - Doctors. For the body and for the mind

18 - Parenthood. And the way it is molding my character.

19 - A Husband who comes home to me every night. And believes that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

20 - A year of Maternity leave

21 - The body I live in

22 - Washing machines and Dryers

23 - My dog Bentley
24 - The healing power of time
25 - Ball launchers for dogs
26 - Nap Time
27 - Friends who love me despite my shortcomings
28 - Disposable diapers
29 - Feta cheese
30 - Weather
31 - Random acts of kindness. There is a guy in my city who has stood on street corners and given away roses to men, women, children, homeless people, etc for 12 years straight. It made the news today.
32 - Bountiful food supplies
33 - Harvest time
34 - Cameras
35 - My conscience
36 - Talk radio
37 - Make-up
38 - Fresh coats of paint
39 - Cuddles
40 - Challenges, after the fact when I realize what I've learned
41 - Music that makes me tear
42 - A vehicle
43 - Teeth. I forgot how hard I had to work to get these. My son is still working on his first.
44 - Good neighbors
45 - A beautiful fish tank with gorgeous fish
46 - Connections
47 - A questioning mind
48 - Memories
49 - Privacy
50 - Straightening irons

Monday, October 6, 2008

Why Do I Do This?

I was at the gym yesterday when I saw her walk in. From my vantage point upstairs, I watched. "Don't let her come upstairs, please don't let her come upstairs," I mumbled under my breath as I watched my heart rate jump by 10 beats per minute.

I heard someone come up the stairs and did a quick shoulder check. Drat. Busted! She swooped in on me, taking the machine beside me. I smiled as she battered me with compliments. We talked about children, building houses, and business.

"Just let me know when you're ready to come back," she said. She told me that I was missed by clients and complimented my work ethic. If I wanted a break or to make a bit of extra cash, the job was waiting for me.

I drove home from the gym considering my options. A bit of spending money would be nice. A change of pace would be nice. I miss the clients too. I could do a few hours here and there, couldn't I?

Ten months ago she shattered my fragile self esteem with a short letter explaining that I was no longer employed by her. I cried for days. My feelings were hurt. For I am a people pleaser, and I was unhappy that she was unhappy. She said that I wasn't thinking logically since I had become pregnant. This topped off 3.5 years of tip-toeing around, keenly aware of her unstable moods and unpredictability.

The Husband knocked some sense back into me after I told him of the conversation. "You are NOT going to work for her again. You can work out with her, converse with her, and have a casual friendship. But you will not work for her again." He is so right, providing the backbone that I find myself missing sometimes.

After being walked on by this woman, why would I even consider going back? Why do I want her to like me? Why do I even care? And why am I not strong enough in my own personhood to stick up for myself? Why? What is it that drives me? I just don't know.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Jehovah's Witnesses

This morning my doorbell rang. I was still in my PJ's when I went to answer. There stood a lovely woman and her young, maybe 7-ish, child. The child asked me if I believed in "Life in a Peaceful New World."

She was nervous, I could tell. What should I say?

"Ummm, I don't really know," I said, giving her a chance to practice.

She read me a verse from the Psalms. She looked at her Mom. And then me.

"Can you leave me with this tract?" she said, handing me a pamphlet. I took it and smiled at her. Her Mom put her arm around her shoulder and they walked down the sidewalk.


Yesterday I decided to turn the heat on in the house. Nothing. Thankfully, the weather is nice enough during the day that the house temperature maintains itself quite nicely. Fortunately I know that Manitoba Hydro will come check it out for free. So I called them this morning.

Me: "Hello. I turned on my furnace yesterday and am getting no heat."

Guy: "Is this the first time you've turned it on this fall?"

Me: "Yes."

Guy: "Did you turn the thermostat above the current temperature in the house?"

Uhhhh... do I SOUND stupid?! Would the Husband have been asked such a question? Seriously.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Quad Pod Sitter

If he plants his hands on the ground beside him, he can sit. He can hold his balance for minutes at a time.

But if he turns his head to look at something (like the fish tank) or reaches for a toy...

This is the inevitable result

This bonus photo is for Dad, who loves mirror shots

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Other Uses for Breast Milk

I can't say I've ever respected People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) due to their extreme views. But this latest request cinched my distaste for their radical beliefs. How about People for the Ethical Treatment of Mothers?

Mom's Morning Out

This morning at 9AM I woke my sleeping baby and ventured out of the city, to the small town we will be moving to this winter. I swallowed my anxious feelings and put on a smile. Loneliness is my biggest complaint of parenthood. But getting out and meeting other Moms is one of my greatest fears. How can that be?

We joined a bunch of other Moms and Kids for some down time. I hesitated to give Isaiah into Roselle's arms, thinking he might be shy. But it didn't seem to bother him. She promised to find me if he was having a hard time, so I went to the gym and found myself a table.

I loaded up on desserts for breakfast and was soon joined by 3 women I had gone to school with, and my piano teacher from high school. We had some casual conversation and then listened to a speaker remind us of how important Motherhood is. My brain had a hard time engaging, fluttering with wayward thoughts and imaginary fussy Isaiah noises.

An hour and a half later, I went to get my little guy. Lo and behold, he was fast asleep in Roselle's arms. He's not a cuddle to sleep kind of guy, so I was rather surprised (and impressed!). Roselle invited us over for lunch, which of course I couldn't pass up.

Over sandwiches and coffee we talked about mental illness, characteristics of good friends, and babies. Isaiah kicked and talked on the floor till he was hungry and then interrupted my carrot cake dessert to fill his tummy. He sat in Roselle's lap, gazing at her sleepily. So I packed him up and moseyed on to check out our building project.

The first floor of our walls are up and the second floor is in progress. I took pictures from the car, feeling rather like I was spying on the workers. The neighbors are putting up a huge fence. Looks like it'll be chain-link. I soon discovered why, when the lady of the house walked by with her two GREYHOUNDS and a little Yorkie. I guess Bentley will have friends.

And now, with a napping baby, I'm doing laundry and tidying. All my eyes want to do is drift shut. This weariness is incredible. He sleeps well. I don't know why I'm so tired. The dog needs to be walked. Supper needs to be prepped. And I'm planning a workout for tonight.