Today

This morning we packed up early and hit the highway. I rudely awoke Isaiah from his sleep and quickly fed him before packing up. We drove the hour long commute to the small city of Portage. I dropped the Husband off at the Alliance Church for music practice. He plays the drums and is sometimes asked to fill in for vacant band members at various churches. What can I say? He's just that good. I used to work with Jon, who leads a band at this church.

Meanwhile, I drove over to the hospital I used to work in. It was there that I received a positive pregnancy test. It was there that I started spotting at the end of a shift and went to Emergency. It was there that I had an ultrasound done that showed a beating heart at 8 weeks gestation. And it was there that my co-workers rode the emotions of disappointment month after month with me and then got as excited as I did when I conceived. I had to show him off!

Some of the best were working today. They were on my boy in a minute, examining him and cuddling him. It felt like a homecoming. I enjoyed my job there. It was often stressful, but the people I worked with were top notch. If it wasn't for such high gas prices, I would love to go back to work there.

Shortly after, I proceeded to a friend's place for breakfast. As we caught up on life, she casually mentioned that Jos, the ward clerk from work had died. Nobody had told me this news yet and it tugged at my heart. I often saw her at Cancer Care during her treatment of lung cancer and she was always full of hugs and praise. I remember how surprised I was to find out that she liked me. I never would have thought that when I worked with her.

Church was full. I saw another girl that I used to work with. She often brought Jos in for clinic appointments. I sat with her and handed her Isaiah. She held him as she sang and I watched the tears stream down her face as she looked at him, prayed for him and I could tell that he was helping heal her heart.

We joined Jon and his family for lunch. The girls played and asked questions about the baby. We admired new pups - only 4 days old. Presents were given to Isaiah. He was very grateful. He's a good baby that way.

On the way home we checked out Marble Slab Creamery. They make their own ice cream daily. I highly recommend it, but it does come fairly pricey. Yumma!

When we got home, I took the dog out to the front yard and watered the flower bed. The neighbor lady and her Basset hound joined us and we talked shop. She's a nurse as well. The neighbor across the street came out to give Bentley his Sunday treat of T-bone bits. My dog loves that man. I'm reminded how lovely our neighborhood is. I might never want to leave it.

I spent my evening cuddling my little man. He was plumb tuckered out and just happy to be in my arms. He lays against my chest, his eyes as big as a deer's, and blinks really slowly like he caught in the headlights or perhaps I had just rescued him from some terrible fate. I put away some clothes that are too small for him and felt a twinge of sadness. I miss my 5 pound bundle.

On a side note, the Husband made a new blog that will be primarily photos of Isaiah for friends and family to peruse. It's the Mennonese Connection (A combo of Mennonite and Guyanese) and you can find it at http://themennoneseconnection.blogspot.com/

G'nite!

He Smiles!

Neighbors

Last night the four of us decided to go for a walk - The Husband, The Wife, The Baby, The Dog. It may have been cut short by a screaming infant, but on our way to the park I said "Hi" to our neighbor. He spends hours, I think daily, shining his red SUV (I don't know what kind of vehicle it is. It is red. I am woman.) He jumped up and said he had saved his bones and gristle from his T-bone steaks earlier in the day for Bentley. Could he have them? He told me he's going to save the bones for my pooch every week. Every Sunday they have steak. Every Sunday Bentley shall dine on fine bones and ... gristle. Five minutes, two t-bones, and a plate of scraps later we continued on our way to the park.

That'll Teach Me

I bragged in the last post. This evening he screamed for 4 hours with only short silences in between. He undid all the puffed up-ed-ness you may have sensed in the last entry. I'm on a severe learning curve. Have I mentioned that?

Growth

I've been thinking of what to blog. I think I'd like to be the kind of writer who doesn't only write about her baby. That the other elements of life still consume my time, energy, and thoughts. Not so. All I do is baby. Therefore, this is all you shall read.

We went for a 1 month check-up today. The little man has grown to 21.5 inches and 8 lb 10oz. I can't believe how big he's getting. I was kind of hoping for a 5 lb bundle a little longer. He loved the doctor visit - smiled and coo-ed at her and generally played Baby Jesus. I figure Baby Jesus must have been a model baby. He certainly would never have pushed his mother to the brink of temptation, would he have?

As soon as we got home, he did this:

Today was a great success. With 4 hours of sleep under my belt, I decided that the morning would be a good time for a walk. And so I took my Fussipotimus (my favorite nickname for my cranky baby) and put him in the Baby Bjorn that my sister-in-law so graciously lent to us. I put the dog on the leash and prided myself. Dog AND baby. Impressive! We waddled around the park a couple of times and chatted with my neighbor, who is an adult and much better at conversation than my 5 week old infant. It went swimmingly. I came home and marinated meat for supper. I put my sleeping Isaiah in his bouncy chair and swished through the bath before loading him up, on my own, for his appointment in the afternoon. I felt competent and capable. Maybe I WILL get the hang of this one day.

On another note, my thumbs are not green and my flowerbeds are not as lovely as they were last year. Time and hand availability seem to be a factor. I have, however, succeeded in putting a few pots together to brighten our porch. Ta-da!

Happy Father's Day!

This one is for the Husband, who is turning out to be the World's Best Daddy. We love you!

Super baby!

What do you mean I don't count anymore?

One of my Favorites

The New Normal

If you would have asked me about pre-conceived ideas before the baby was born, I'd have told you what kind of Mom I would be. I would be able to let my baby cry for longer than a minute. I would be able to put him down, let him cry, and accomplish things around the house. I would be immune to lack of sleep. I've done shift work. I would be strong enough to do it all with the Husband on courses for 3 weeks of Isaiah's first 5 weeks of life. I'd do it gladly. After all, I/we wanted a baby. We would establish a routine, both caring and involved in our infant's life. I'd still socialize and keep up with my un-babied friends.

Truth is, I can't do any of those things. There is only so much I can take on a couple of hours of sleep. Sometimes I hold my baby while he's crying and I cry too. Sometimes I feel jealous that the Husband can spend his evenings out with no concern about whether or not his baby is being taken care of properly while I stay home and feed, comfort, nurture our baby. Sometimes I don't have my teeth brushed or real clothes on by 4 pm. Some days all I never get a chance to make myself a real meal. Leaving the house is a huge ordeal. He hates his carseat and barely tolerates car rides. I am NOT cut out to be a single parent.

Then some days it all works. We sleep well. He doesn't struggle with tummy aches and enjoys laying on the couch and looking at things. He sits in his bouncy chair. I accomplish things. I shower, eat, and tidy. I might even prep a meal. Things flow and I figure I've got a handle on things.

The new normal, it turns out, is no kind of normal at all.

Isaiah

Brain Fog

This kid thing is more than a full time job. I think he's a good baby, but he gets really uncomfortable. Mostly in the evenings. Then he grunts and complains, winces and fusses. He's pretty easy to comfort, but it takes all of my effort and both of my hands. And hours of my days and nights. God, let him grow out of this. Let him sleep for 2 hours straight. And let me sleep too.

Most of the time I'm holding him, cuddling him. Both of us are on a learning curve and I fear we aren't always patient with each other. God, don't let me mess him up.

Last week the Husband was out of town on a course. I wasn't about to attempt a week alone with a 2 week old and a 100 lb dog that needs to be exercised daily. So I high-tailed it out to the farm. If you ever decide to have kids, stick close to your families. Mum soothed him, fed him, changed him, brought him to me. Plus made snacks and meals and entertained company. I decided to try just one night at home alone with him just to say that I can do this. Thousands of women around the world do this every day. Certainly I could handle just one night. At 11 pm I heard a cough and a stuffy nose. His cold got worse for the next few hours. I would put him down and he would cough and gag. His stuffy nose didn't let him breathe well so I laid him on my chest as I reclined. Finally at 2 AM I did all I could think of - I called my Mum. And she came. Immediately. She soothed him, fed him, changed him, rocked him. And I slept.