Tomorrow I start work. The Husband is off for the next few days while I work and then I'm off when he works. It'll delay the start of daycare by one week. Next week the boy will go for a couple of hours to start, followed by full days at the end of the week. Hopefully it's a gentle enough immersion.
Often at night Isaiah only wants me. We've been practicing having the Husband tend to him at night, hoping to improve the Boy's flexibility. Daddy is putting him down at bedtime more often too. It's been going okay except for the last few nights. Bedtimes are a trial. He screams until he falls asleep. If we go in, he screams harder in downright anger. I think he smells change.
This evening I sat in the room next to my baby's, listening to Daddy read to him and settle him for bed. He wasn't okay with that. He wanted Mama. It broke my heart not to go in and take care of him.
My maternity leave is over. Officially. Where has this year gone? I've raised a boy and kept him alive but accomplished little else. In the morning I'm going to work. Although I'm excited about it and I know it'll be good to expand my world, it just feels wrong tonight. What if he cries all day? What if he thinks Mama isn't coming back? I can't explain it to him. I just hope it isn't too hard for any of us.
Please God, let us sleep well tonight. I have impressions to make and things to remember tomorrow.
1 comment:
"I've raised a boy and kept him alive but accomplished little else."
Yah, that's really not much of an accomplishment for a year, dear sister ;-) You've got to be kidding! I'll pray for you as you re-enter the world of work tomorrow...
Love
me
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