Just a couple of months ago I was a full time Mum. I took a full year of maternity leave which ended up being a whirlwind of change. I won't lie - it was a hard year. I learned a lot of lessons and did a lot of growing. But I struggled with being in my four walls with my baby. We had one car, which the Husband took to work. After the move I didn't even know my neighbors. Fatigue robbed me of my usual zip. My weight dropped with the demands of breastfeeding, carrying an infant, and the frequent decision to nap instead of eat when the baby was sleeping.
Near the end of maternity leave I was successful in a job interview for a part time position. I went out and purchased a small used car. I made arrangements for daycare.
I've been working for two months now. I love my job. Day shifts, Monday to Friday. No weekends, no shifts, no holidays. I've gained weight. I sleep better. My son likes his daycare. He's never thrilled to be dropped off, but never eager to be picked up. He just wants to show me what he is doing.
The problem is, I haven't found a good balance. I'm working a lot - picking up way more shifts than the half time position requires of me. Work is fun and stimulating. However, I start at 7AM which means I'm up at 530. I have to wake the slumbering boy up to take him to daycare, which sucks. Seriously sucks. I wish he was naturally awake at that time (except for my days off when I'm happy he sleeps in). He's become more cuddly the last couple of months, wanting me to hold and snuggle him. I don't make as many homecooked meals. The house isn't as clean. The boy sleeps better than he did as an infant. He's up twice a night on average and the Husband and I take turns caring for him. But I am not a morning person and 530 wakeups take their toll on me by the end of the week. There is pressure from home and work to work more sometimes. But then I'm tired, grumpy, and not communicating well. I don't get to the gym as often and my back hurts more.
Too much home time isn't good for me. Too much work time isn't good for me.
There has got to be some kind of balance I can find. Perhaps I'll start by saying "no" to the occasional extra shift.
How do other Mums do it?
2 comments:
What you are learning my dear girl, is that you can never do everything! There are always trade-offs -- but if I can give you advice that I myself have not always been very good at -- make sure you take good care of yourself and learn your limitations -- otherwise you are no good to anyone at all! And I will pray that God will give you discernment and wisdom, contentment and joy in the journey. Love MOM
Balance is hard to achieve... most of us swing from one end to the other, more like a teeter totter.
Keep at it!
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