That'll Teach Me

I bragged in the last post. This evening he screamed for 4 hours with only short silences in between. He undid all the puffed up-ed-ness you may have sensed in the last entry. I'm on a severe learning curve. Have I mentioned that?

Growth

I've been thinking of what to blog. I think I'd like to be the kind of writer who doesn't only write about her baby. That the other elements of life still consume my time, energy, and thoughts. Not so. All I do is baby. Therefore, this is all you shall read.

We went for a 1 month check-up today. The little man has grown to 21.5 inches and 8 lb 10oz. I can't believe how big he's getting. I was kind of hoping for a 5 lb bundle a little longer. He loved the doctor visit - smiled and coo-ed at her and generally played Baby Jesus. I figure Baby Jesus must have been a model baby. He certainly would never have pushed his mother to the brink of temptation, would he have?

As soon as we got home, he did this:

Today was a great success. With 4 hours of sleep under my belt, I decided that the morning would be a good time for a walk. And so I took my Fussipotimus (my favorite nickname for my cranky baby) and put him in the Baby Bjorn that my sister-in-law so graciously lent to us. I put the dog on the leash and prided myself. Dog AND baby. Impressive! We waddled around the park a couple of times and chatted with my neighbor, who is an adult and much better at conversation than my 5 week old infant. It went swimmingly. I came home and marinated meat for supper. I put my sleeping Isaiah in his bouncy chair and swished through the bath before loading him up, on my own, for his appointment in the afternoon. I felt competent and capable. Maybe I WILL get the hang of this one day.

On another note, my thumbs are not green and my flowerbeds are not as lovely as they were last year. Time and hand availability seem to be a factor. I have, however, succeeded in putting a few pots together to brighten our porch. Ta-da!

Happy Father's Day!

This one is for the Husband, who is turning out to be the World's Best Daddy. We love you!

Super baby!

What do you mean I don't count anymore?

One of my Favorites

The New Normal

If you would have asked me about pre-conceived ideas before the baby was born, I'd have told you what kind of Mom I would be. I would be able to let my baby cry for longer than a minute. I would be able to put him down, let him cry, and accomplish things around the house. I would be immune to lack of sleep. I've done shift work. I would be strong enough to do it all with the Husband on courses for 3 weeks of Isaiah's first 5 weeks of life. I'd do it gladly. After all, I/we wanted a baby. We would establish a routine, both caring and involved in our infant's life. I'd still socialize and keep up with my un-babied friends.

Truth is, I can't do any of those things. There is only so much I can take on a couple of hours of sleep. Sometimes I hold my baby while he's crying and I cry too. Sometimes I feel jealous that the Husband can spend his evenings out with no concern about whether or not his baby is being taken care of properly while I stay home and feed, comfort, nurture our baby. Sometimes I don't have my teeth brushed or real clothes on by 4 pm. Some days all I never get a chance to make myself a real meal. Leaving the house is a huge ordeal. He hates his carseat and barely tolerates car rides. I am NOT cut out to be a single parent.

Then some days it all works. We sleep well. He doesn't struggle with tummy aches and enjoys laying on the couch and looking at things. He sits in his bouncy chair. I accomplish things. I shower, eat, and tidy. I might even prep a meal. Things flow and I figure I've got a handle on things.

The new normal, it turns out, is no kind of normal at all.

Isaiah

Brain Fog

This kid thing is more than a full time job. I think he's a good baby, but he gets really uncomfortable. Mostly in the evenings. Then he grunts and complains, winces and fusses. He's pretty easy to comfort, but it takes all of my effort and both of my hands. And hours of my days and nights. God, let him grow out of this. Let him sleep for 2 hours straight. And let me sleep too.

Most of the time I'm holding him, cuddling him. Both of us are on a learning curve and I fear we aren't always patient with each other. God, don't let me mess him up.

Last week the Husband was out of town on a course. I wasn't about to attempt a week alone with a 2 week old and a 100 lb dog that needs to be exercised daily. So I high-tailed it out to the farm. If you ever decide to have kids, stick close to your families. Mum soothed him, fed him, changed him, brought him to me. Plus made snacks and meals and entertained company. I decided to try just one night at home alone with him just to say that I can do this. Thousands of women around the world do this every day. Certainly I could handle just one night. At 11 pm I heard a cough and a stuffy nose. His cold got worse for the next few hours. I would put him down and he would cough and gag. His stuffy nose didn't let him breathe well so I laid him on my chest as I reclined. Finally at 2 AM I did all I could think of - I called my Mum. And she came. Immediately. She soothed him, fed him, changed him, rocked him. And I slept.