The thing about accidents is that the timing must be impeccable. It takes more precision than any fine-tuned art.
Because...
If you had been one second later
Or one second earlier
Stayed at the last place a minute longer
Or the weather had been different
If it had been a different time of day
Or someone else behind the wheel
If you'd been driving a car instead of a truck
Or if his vehicle had winter tires
If you had declined a shift
Or the other guy decided not to go watch the game
If any single, minute detail was different...
It wouldn't have happened.
But it did. Everything lined up just so. You can assign fault to somebody. Or nobody. God. Or Fate. Maybe Chance.
When the Unthinkable happens... then what? When you run to the car, hoping beyond hope that the other guy is okay. And you see him, and you know he's not. What then?
As it turns out, some people understand. It's happened to people before. They just don't talk about it every day. Some call. Some send flowers. No one casts blame. It must feel like a treadmill. A lot of effort, no destination. What if? Should I have? Could I have? The family... ?
I love you, Dad.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Photos
Curly Toes
I've spent the better part of the week preparing the Boy for surgery. He has, what the surgeon called, curly toes. The third toes on both feet crossed under the second. For some kids it's no big deal, but this kid has woken crying that his toes hurt and keeping the nails short was essential to keeping them from cutting into the toes. We saw two surgeons who had differing opinions on both the problem and the solution. One stated nothing needed to be done and the other recommended a tendon release on the third toe.
We bought movies and games. We talked about surgery. We discussed the hospital. I'll confess, we played it up a little.
Yesterday was surgery day. He woke up once we parked underground, totally stoked for surgery. He enjoyed putting on the blue and white striped gown and asked if he was beautiful in his dress. We discussed casts and the nurse told him he could pick whatever color he wanted. Even pink! He and daddy played video games. He's so sucked into those things. I'm definitely not buying one!
The surgeon came and marked his toes. The anesthetist came and let him pick his flavor of gas - bubble gum, strawberry, orange, or root beer. He saw the power cars beyond the doors to the OR and got excited about driving one. The nurse came and took him from me. He went willingly. First he tried the Hummer. It scared him when he realized it actually drove. So the nurse offered him the Corvette. He didn't actually want to drive it but went along happily when she offered to join him. We were told they would start his IV after he was sleeping and that he would be sleeping about one minute after he left our arms. OR time was booked for 2 hours.
We went for a quick breakfast and made a few phone calls. We came back early to wait in the post op waiting room. Just over an hour after he was taken in the surgeon came out and told us that everything went well. She did a simple tendon release and his feet had straightened out nicely. She opted for bulky dressings and didn't need casts at all!
Shortly after we were called to the recovery room. They warned us that he was upset before we saw him. I saw a nurse holding him on the bed and he was screaming. He was so upset. I think he was pretty ticked. It wasn't actually fun. He wanted to go home RIGHT NOW and get his "socks" off and his IV out. I held him and put his blanket over his head. Once he got his thumb in his mouth and settled down he fell asleep.
A little while later we transferred to the ward and watched some TV. After he ate a popsicle they took out his IV and let us go. We were out of there by 1130. Now the dressings stay on for 10 days. No weight bearing for a week. No running and no jumping for a month. Sounds impossible!
Yesterday we used a lot of Tylenol and Advil. Today he's feeling much better. In fact, he's scooting around on his knees like a pro. You'd think he had never learned to walk.
Now for some time off, lots of couch time, movies, and snuggles. I'm so glad to have this over with.
We bought movies and games. We talked about surgery. We discussed the hospital. I'll confess, we played it up a little.
Yesterday was surgery day. He woke up once we parked underground, totally stoked for surgery. He enjoyed putting on the blue and white striped gown and asked if he was beautiful in his dress. We discussed casts and the nurse told him he could pick whatever color he wanted. Even pink! He and daddy played video games. He's so sucked into those things. I'm definitely not buying one!
The surgeon came and marked his toes. The anesthetist came and let him pick his flavor of gas - bubble gum, strawberry, orange, or root beer. He saw the power cars beyond the doors to the OR and got excited about driving one. The nurse came and took him from me. He went willingly. First he tried the Hummer. It scared him when he realized it actually drove. So the nurse offered him the Corvette. He didn't actually want to drive it but went along happily when she offered to join him. We were told they would start his IV after he was sleeping and that he would be sleeping about one minute after he left our arms. OR time was booked for 2 hours.
We went for a quick breakfast and made a few phone calls. We came back early to wait in the post op waiting room. Just over an hour after he was taken in the surgeon came out and told us that everything went well. She did a simple tendon release and his feet had straightened out nicely. She opted for bulky dressings and didn't need casts at all!
Shortly after we were called to the recovery room. They warned us that he was upset before we saw him. I saw a nurse holding him on the bed and he was screaming. He was so upset. I think he was pretty ticked. It wasn't actually fun. He wanted to go home RIGHT NOW and get his "socks" off and his IV out. I held him and put his blanket over his head. Once he got his thumb in his mouth and settled down he fell asleep.
A little while later we transferred to the ward and watched some TV. After he ate a popsicle they took out his IV and let us go. We were out of there by 1130. Now the dressings stay on for 10 days. No weight bearing for a week. No running and no jumping for a month. Sounds impossible!
Yesterday we used a lot of Tylenol and Advil. Today he's feeling much better. In fact, he's scooting around on his knees like a pro. You'd think he had never learned to walk.
Now for some time off, lots of couch time, movies, and snuggles. I'm so glad to have this over with.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Movies
Yesterday I went on a bit of a spree. I purchased more movies in half an hour than I ever have in my life. You see, the Boy is having surgery on his toes next Friday. I'm a little anxious, it's true. Instead of renting movies daily I just bought them. I'm afraid we'll be couch bound while he has casts on both feet and well, I guess this is like entertainment insurance.
Here is my list:
Horton Hears a Who
The Bee Movie
James and the Giant Peach
Shrek
Shrek 2
Shrek 3
Christmas Shrek (what? it was a four pack!)
Milo and Otis
Happy Feet
Cars
Dragon Hunters
Now, who is coming to join us on our movie marathon?
Here is my list:
Horton Hears a Who
The Bee Movie
James and the Giant Peach
Shrek
Shrek 2
Shrek 3
Christmas Shrek (what? it was a four pack!)
Milo and Otis
Happy Feet
Cars
Dragon Hunters
Now, who is coming to join us on our movie marathon?
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Best Parts
The best part of my day yesterday? Flowers from my Husband! For no "real" reason. Extra points for having them delivered to my workplace and making all my colleagues jealous.
Today? Getting back to the gym following a month of illness between myself and the Boy. Even better, a hot stone massage after. The gift cert was a gift from my Hubby for Christmas.
Wow! You should all be jealous of a husband such as mine.
Today? Getting back to the gym following a month of illness between myself and the Boy. Even better, a hot stone massage after. The gift cert was a gift from my Hubby for Christmas.
Wow! You should all be jealous of a husband such as mine.
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