Today I had my routine post-partum checkup. I had a list of questions for the doctor.
Are the autopsy reports back?
- Somehow somewhere there must have been a miscommunication. No autopsy was done, only measurements and all of those seemed normal although both babies measured small for dates. My doctor was going to check if the bodies were still at the hospital to see if autopsy could still be undertaken but it's unlikely. This is very frustrating for me as we had had serious concerns about our baby girl early in the pregnancy.
Were the babies alive at birth?
- No. The birth process is usually too traumatic for such little ones, mine included. This gives me peace of mind because sometimes at night when my mind would run away with me I would wonder if they had been and torture myself about not holding them as they died.
What did the placenta pathology say?
- Infection found in the placentas and bits of tissue sent after delivery. My doctor is very sure that I contracted a bug which caused my membranes to rupture and delivery to occur. Nothing I could have done differently would have caused a different outcome. "It's a case of really bad luck"
Could the odd shape of my uterus have caused problems and could my cervix have been incompetent?
- Probably not. But next time we'll keep a closer eye on the length of my cervix just to make sure.
Can I be referred back to this doctor sooner than what my family doctor would usually request if we get pregnant again?
-Yes! The second I get a positive pregnancy test a referral should be fired to her office. This makes me happy. She is kind, compassionate, and knowledgeable.
I should hear back yet on whether the babies' bodies are still at the hospital and if autopsy can still be done. I'm expecting a phone call.
But otherwise, I think that kind of sums things up. Hopefully we can move forward from this and give it another go this summer.
6 comments:
WHAT A JOURNEY. Still you are in my thots...has the tatoo been done. Hugs. Roselle
Yes many questions. It is nice you can get some peace of mind from knowing that really, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this tragedy. As rough and unpredictable this time was, hopefully your future course will be an experience with less grief and more joy. Let March 7th never be forgotten, and here is to continuing on in the journey.
The husband really cares about you and will be beside you all the way!!!
thanks husband - i think you're frauding (i'm sure this is a verb) the public by posing as the author of this blog...
your support has been my strength :)
I was puzzled about the husband comment, by Valerie Ruth, till I read the second one! Very sweet though. Yes, our prayers will continue to be with you, and I am still sad that we don't have twins to look forward to in July.
But we do look forward as well, to another time. Perhaps not twins.
Hi there,
I stumbled upon your blog at Laundromat and am so glad I did. I've been reading your most recent posts for the last half hour as tears have been running down my cheeks. I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies. Our own son was stillborn two years ago, so I understand maybe better than others do the loss and heartache you're feeling now. So many of your comments are exactly how I felt and still do feel. You can read a bit of our journey at my blog here: http://whatcorriethinks.blogspot.ca/2010/01/january-27-2010.html
Even though I don't know you, know that I will be praying for you and your family. I will thank God for your son and daughter. Just like my son, I know their all too brief lives mattered. And still do.
The ache lessons, but doesn't go away. Your body will never forget, either. Let me know if you would like to talk more, I found it incredibly helpful when I found an online community dealing with baby loss. It helps to talk to people who know what you're dealing with and the empty arms you came home with.
Much love,
corrie.
thank you for your touching comment corrie. i will definitely check out your blog! hopefully we can talk further.
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