Within the last week I have:
- Sat with a physician who told a 36 yr old that a) she has cancer and b) it's too advanced to treat. I watched her heart break. Tomorrow we meet again.
- Been told by a Mom that not only would one of my youngest and feistiest patients not be in for Chemo on Monday (called to give her an appointment time) but that she wasn't well at all. I spent the rest of my Friday ensuring she was taken care of at home. She died on Saturday. She was 30 and hell bent to fight this disease. It took her down in record time. I met her only a month earlier with minimal symptoms of disease.
- Received a call from the husband of another patient telling me that she was admitted to a palliative ward on Monday. He called back today. She died. She was 28. Just like me. Their first wedding anniversary would have been this summer. She was feeling healthy with no signs of relapse at wedding time.
This evening I went for a reflective walk with my faithful pooch. There is no better therapy than seeing Bentley enjoy every puddle and stick he comes across. I watched the sun set and felt the toque on my head that my sister-in-law hand knit for me. Both of my young patients preferred toques to wigs after chemo had taken their hair. At least during the short season of winter that I knew them.
I felt life kick inside of me. Felt the wind on my face. Saw the colors on the horizon. I thought about the fact that my 4th wedding anniversary is in a month. As well as the due date of our first child. I feel strong and healthy. And I was a solemn kind of happy.
4 comments:
Wow...I've got goose bumps....yes, how fortunate we are to be healthy....tante L
And we think we have problems! God forgive us for our own selfish pity parties.
What a window you have with that job. Reminds me of my brother dying at 43. So unbelievable. It happens every day and the survivors stay here, limping along.
Beautiful description of life. The solemn, the happy.
This is a profound post Val. Thank you for sharing part of your life with us.
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