The time has come. Today is my last day of life in this house that I call home. Officially that would actually be tomorrow, but I don't count moving day as a normal day of life. I'll be honest - I'm emotional about it. Perhaps more than I would otherwise be because I'm bone weary.
The thing is that my darling son does not sleep. He just naps. This week his average is 1.5 hr stretches. That mean that I haven't slept longer than an hour at a time in days. Most of the time he wakes up, eats, and falls right back asleep. But one night this week he cried, screamed, for 45 minutes. I woke my husband up for help, the baby and I both in tears. Yesterday I took him to a walk-in clinic thinking that perhaps he has an ear infection. Nope. Thus, I am so tired that I think the wind could blow me over.
Tonight is the last night we sleep in our house. This evening will be Bentley's last walk in the park and his last scamper in the front yard with his buddy Oscar. Those two will miss each other. Our cable has been disconnected. Boxes abound in every room. I don't even feel comfortable in my own house. Mail has already arrived for the new owners. I will miss our next door neighbors more than words can express. I know, I know, I can always come visit. But I'm afraid the quality of our relationship will change. She has become one of my best friends. My fish tank is empty. Some fish are being cared for by a friend. Others I just gave away. It's sad, seeing it so lifeless.
Tomorrow we work. We move and we clean. Isaiah will be watched by the grandmas so that I can focus. I'm just afraid that I'll be too tired to be effective. I know I can do this, I just feel like I can't. So I have to pick my head up, wipe the tears from my eyes, and put emotions aside. This is a good thing. I wanted to move. And one day I will sleep again.
But what I really wish for is this - A day at the spa, without my child, without my husband. With no work in front of me. With no moving to do. I wish it could all happen without me and that I could just show up at the end of the day, at my parents place (where we are moving temporarily until our house is done) with all the work done and all the goodbyes said.
3 comments:
This too shall pass, honey! Keep your chin up and keep napping whenever you possibly can.
Love you, Carol
Yeah...every parent I know will say 'we've been there..we remember the utter weariness! But I can't imagine what it's like also having a big move at the same time -- not to mention that hubby's work was crazy just the week of your move. So again, don't be too hard on yourself, let yourself feel these things without feeling guilty. And as Carol said, remember during those nights of no sleep, that it will not last forever!! Love MOM
p.s.And one perk of living at home is that you should be able to go for a good nap every day while Mom watches baby.
Your going to love your new house buddy!!! : )
You can't appreciate what you have to the fullest without a little struggle.
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