Thursday 21

I started off doing a Thursday 13, but it turns out that I have a lot to say!

1. My baby had his first immunizations yesterday. Although he screamed, I think he handled it better than I did. This morning he has a fever and is feeling crummy.

2. I don't like my joints touching when I sleep. It's why I slept with a Teddy for so long. Now I use a more adult-ish small pillow between my elbows.

3. Not only do I not make contact with the seat of a public toilet, I also always flush with my foot.

4. I do a lot of reading and writing in the bathtub. Including most of my studying in University. The new house will have a jaccuzi. I shall reside there.

5. Moving day is 9 days away. I don't even feel at home in my home right now. I'm surrounded by boxes. I'm excited to be leaving the city, but incredibly sad to be leaving my neighborhood. The builders are a couple of weeks behind schedule, so we'll be moving in with my parents for a while. I have mixed feelings about this.

6. I'm trying to sell my 55 Gallon fish tank. There are 7 cichlids left. The other 6 are being fish-sat by one of my dearest friends.

7. The majority of the people I admire most are directly related to me.

8. I have been waiting 2.5 years to see a spinal surgeon. My back is worse than it used to be pre-baby, but better than I expected it would be. Low weight and strong muscle tone helps. I hate being crooked. I like symmetry.

9. I worry about getting to the gym once we live in the country with one car. I believe exercise is a powerful anti-depressant for me.

10. Thanks to those who commented/emailed me regarding my last post. You had some great suggestions and the support felt good. It's just neat to hear from other mums who have had similar situations.

11. Isolation and loneliness are my biggest struggles as a mom. I make an effort to get out to groups, but they are usually in the morning when we are recovering from our bad nights. Also, it just takes a while to feel like part of a group and make connections outside of it.

12. I still miss Ingrid like crazy.

13. I worry constantly lately. Hopefully that subsides once our major upheaval is over.

14. My dad is no longer a pig farmer. This week he emptied his barns. I'm kind of sad about that.

15. It amazes me how much the Husband loves me. And how much of an effort it is for him to display his affection for me. He keeps reminding me that we are a team and that despite my nightmares, he won't cheat on or leave me.

16. I wish I was the kind of person who always took time to do my toenails, read a book, or do some kind of needlework. I'm afraid I'm not patient enough to succeed at these things.

17. I'm afraid of starting a new job in April. I secretly think that I'm not smart or organized and that I made it through 4 years of University on luck, or multiple choice test taking skills alone.

18. I think the Church is it's own worst enemy. Church politics make my stomach twirl. Too bad something Holy has to be maintained by flawed Human Beings.

19. I love storms in winter. Not so much the summer variety.

20. I often wish I could pause life. I want my baby to stay a baby. In fact, I already miss his littleness more than I probably should. I want my parents and in-laws to stay young and healthy. I would give up a lot to keep my Grandparents around. But if I could change one thing, I would bring my brother and his family home, because I know this is where they long to be. And because I miss him. Our hearts speak the same language.

21. Being called lazy is the worst insult anyone could give me.